Tag: depression

The Impact of Loneliness on Our Health

Alexandre McGovern

Getting older sucks, but it’s felt most in the areas often overlooked. As children, we make friends by circumstance. Friendship is largely a function of common interests, age, and the spaces we frequent. As a child, it’s simple. You’re forced to go to school and share those three aforementioned factors with many peers. Friendship is almost thrust upon you at a young age.

Because of this, we’re not always well-adapted to making friends as we age. We’re pushed into the real world, a veritable ocean of people with varied interests, and a large range of ages. Additionally, we might not frequent the spaces that would facilitate the alignment of those other two factors. Pair that with a hyper-individualized culture and a way forward begins to seem unclear. The result? Loneliness.

A 2024 study suggests that loneliness could lead to a “29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia in older adults” (Penn State, 2024). With such a high tole on our wellbeing, it’s a wonder it’s not talked about more in our society. It also illustrates the mind-body connection; loneliness being predominantly an emotion that has significant physical manifestations in our bodies.

In his book Own Your Past, Change Your Future, Dr. John Delony refers to studies that suggest a link between loneliness and personality disorders, psychoses, suicide, impaired cognitive performance, cognitive decline, and depression (2022). Referring to other studies, he likens loneliness to a public health crisis and that loneliness causes physiological responses that are comparable to being assaulted. He echoes that these physiological responses are more damaging than smoking cigarettes.

If you’re experiencing loneliness, the important thing to remember is, you’re not alone. Funny that the very thing that makes us feel as though we’re on our own little island is proof that the population of this island isn’t just 1. It’s almost as if we’re all standing on different sections of the beach, looking out at the wide-open ocean and feeling isolated. Meanwhile, all we have to do is turn and see there’s someone else on this island, looking out at the ocean beside you.

So, what should we do to connect to our fellow island dwellers? Delony (2022) suggests:

  • “Make it a priority and decide you’re going to do it.”

By making meeting new people and fostering relationships a priority, you increase your chances that you will actually follow through with the desire to connect to people.

  • “Look for shared experiences.”

Like I had mentioned before, shared interests and shared spaces amounts to a shared experience. This could be as simple as a yoga class, cooking workshop, or even a gym session.

  • “Go first and extend hospitality.”

Make the invite first. By welcoming a friend into your home, you’re sending a message that you like to have that person in your life.

  • “Say yes to invitations and adventures.”

When you’re invited anywhere, make it a habit to say yes. This will naturally lead to shared experiences. I’m writing this while just recently refusing a New Year’s invitation, after having enthusiastically spoken to this person about it. I developed a cold a short time after and just can’t go. I’m kicking my butt right now because I really wanted to go, but life had other plans. The key is that if I were perfectly healthy, that refusal would have been a hard yes. Just a small aside to highlight that while you can be as well intentioned as possible, sometimes life has other plans for you, and it’s important to not be too hard on yourself in those moments. This goes for all these suggestions, so long as it actually is misfortune and not avoidance.

  • “Get out of your house and go where other people are.”

You’re not going to be making any friends on your couch watching tv. Hey, I like to watch tv too, but the truth of the matter is, friends are made in the real world, not at home in our cocoons.

  • “Find people to serve.”

Making a rule for your life to be in service to others is a good way to connect with people as well. This could look like volunteering, giving you opportunities to connect to fellow volunteers and other people you will cross during these moments.

Post inspired by these sources:

Delony, J. (2022). Own Your Past, Change Your Future: A Not-So-Complicated Approach to Mental Health. Ramsey Solutions.

Penn State. (2024, June 13). Short-term loneliness associated with physical health problems. ScienceDaily. Retrieved December 14, 2025 from http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2024/06/240613140903.htm

Are You Getting Enough Rest?

Alexandre McGovern

One of the surefire ways to develop a burnout is to overwork, to expose yourself to too much work-related stress. We are often inundated with productivity blogs, videos, and hustle culture rhetoric that makes it almost unavoidable in our fast-paced Western world. While productivity is not evil, in fact, it is necessary and quite beneficial to our wellbeing; too much of a good thing can lead to an imbalance. With the holidays right around the corner and a possibility for some time off from work, I thought it would be a crucial time to talk about rest.

With our busy lives the way they are, it’s likely that you’re not getting enough rest (and if this doesn’t apply to you, I will have a future post for you lay-abouts, a group of which I sometimes also belong to, so no shame). The truth is that Western culture encourages professionals to overwork. Busy work lives, paired with the ways we sometimes unwind on our off hours, is a concoction that greatly amplifies the risk of burnout and depression.

The key is to strike a reasonable work/life balance. This might look different for each of us. For me, with the job in helping relationships, the hours often recommended and encouraged are modest. For some pulling large salaries with greater competition amongst employees, this might look closer to 50-80 hours a week to earn the figures some employers expect. Some are comfortable with that and are perfectly functional with such a high workload. Others would burn out within a week of pulling long shifts. Regardless of your workload tolerance, eventually, your body pays the price. I don’t only encourage rest; I see it as a necessity for wellbeing. Only you know your own limits, and it’s best to come to understand those limits without pushing the boundaries too much.

On a neurological level, quality rest is beneficial for productivity. It’s in activating your brains “default network” (or Default Mode Network) that you can be sure to be at your best when later engaging your “executive network” (or Frontoparietal Network). The default network is activated when your brain is not engaged in a focused task, while in a more relaxed state. It helps with what has been widely considered functions for wellbeing, such as: memory retrieval, self-reflection, and planning; all of which can be crucial for quality productiveness.

How do you engage this network? Simply getting into a state of relaxation. Some concrete strategies could include:

-not working too hard (although I do encourage hard work. If you’re overworking, tone it down to a point where you’re working hard, but not TOO hard. If you’re burning out, significantly toning it down could be more appropriate).

-Mind wander. It’s in these moments where we’re bored that we are improving our creativity and imagination.

-Envelope yourself in nature. Forest bathing and Ecotherapy work.

-Don’t be afraid to be alone. We often emphasize being social, with extroverts often having a social advantage over introverts. There is a lot an extrovert can learn from introverts, however. Activating the default network requires this in most instances, so value your alone time. Balance is important. Solitude can be incredibly beneficial, while severe isolation for too long is something to avoid entirely.

-Sleep. I can’t think of a better way to disconnect from the external world than with quality sleep. You are quite literally cutting yourself off from external stimuli and are becoming enveloped in imagination when you dream.

-Avoid screens to unwind. While great fun in moderation, you are not activating your default network when you’re scrolling social media or watching tv. Your brain is interacting with this content, albeit in a passive way. Engaging in this type of entertainment does not slow your thought processes.

-Have fun. As adults, we need to play too. Whether it’s a sport, video game, or board game, active rest is just as legitimate as its inactive counterpart.

If you haven’t gotten with the program yet, I just can’t emphasize enough the importance of rest. It is just as important as productivity, if not more so in our culture because it is all to often neglected.

This post was inspired by Dr. Joseph Jebelli’s “The Brain at Rest: How the Art and Science of Doing Nothing Can Improve Your Life” which I highly recommend you all read if you want a more in depth look at how to activate your default network and why it’s important to do so.

Jebelli, J. (2025) The Brain at Rest: How the art and science of doing nothing can improve your life. Random House Canada.

How Can a Special Care Counsellor Help You Through Your Addiction?

Alexandre McGovern

Addictions take hold gradually, and can have catastrophic consequences on our health, social life, and work. It installs itself through what is known as the Cycle of Addiction, a vicious cycle that uses our uncomfortable emotions (that by the way, are impossible to avoid) and tries to alleviate that suffering in a maladaptive way, undoubtedly causing more uncomfortable emotions to surface.

While addiction can be hard to combat, if you truly wish to change, the good news is, you can! How can a Special Care Counsellor help you through this?

First and foremost, it’s important to underline the severity of addiction. In some cases, withdrawing from a substance in one fell swoop can have even fatal consequences. Therefore, this subject must be approached delicately. The best way to get clean is to solicit the help of trained medical and psychosocial professionals. Therefore, if you are getting serious about quitting, a Special Care Counsellor can help you take that difficult step to reaching out to an in or out-patient therapy depending on the substance and the risk of withdrawal. I can accompany you to make that all so difficult call.

When in doubt, if you’re thinking about making a quick change in your life, it is also important to talk it over with your family doctor. They might be able to inform you whether the substance you are trying to quit poses any risks to your health during the withdrawal process.

What if you’re not sure? I implement Motivational Interviewing techniques within my interventions to assess your motivation for change, and to tap into that motivation if it exists. Healthy alternatives are also often explored along with coping mechanisms to ease out of a destructive behaviour and into a productive one. Therefore, if you’re hesitant about taking that big step, I am here to support you with regular follow-up sessions. Quitting doesn’t always happen overnight. Change is a process that can have many steps forward and back before the destination is finally reached. And even when you reach your goal of getting clean, maintaining sobriety is a beast all on its own. The key take-away from all of this is that you DO have the power to make a change. You are more than your addiction, and there is a whole other side to life that could have you achieving your goals day in and day out. You can do this!

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How Can a Special Care Counsellor Serve You Through Your Depression?

Alexandre McGovern

Depression can be debilitating. When it’s difficult to even get up in the morning, take a shower, and do the normal activities of a functioning member of society, it might have become problematic. So how can we overcome this problem?

The first thing that needs to happen is a consultation with your family doctor, who can then potentially treat the problem with the proper medication or refer you to a psychiatrist whose expertise is diagnosing and treating depression. Simple, but even before this you will need a certain level of acceptance that there is something wrong. As stated in the DSM-5 “the common feature of [all depressive disorders] is the presence of sad, empty, or irritable mood, accompanied by somatic and cognitive changes that significantly affect the individual’s capacity to function”. If this sounds like something that may be occurring in your life, it might be time to consult with your doctor.

Let’s say you already have a diagnosis and are well medicated or have at least started the process of balancing a medicinal treatment. Or if you think things might be going down a dark path and you want to put something in place as a preventative measure. What can I, as a Special Care Counsellor, do for you?

My road map is to first discuss with you where you want to be in life. This is done through a series of reflection questions that work upon the information you give to me. These reflection questions are not predetermined for the most part but are rather improvised and adapted to your specific case. Next, we look at how you can get where you want to go. This is often done by breaking down what it is you can implement to help you regain some semblance of pleasure and fulfillment in your life. Objectives are broken down into the adapted, smallest steps possible for you to experience small victories in your life. The final step is to review your progress on a regular basis and adjust when needed. With this road map in place, I am confident that progress can be made if you’re invested in the process. If there is no progress, no worries! That’s what the adjustments are for, and the point is not to weigh you down any more than you already are. That being said, it may take all of your energy and effort to get those small wins, but trust me, it is so, so worth it!

The goal truly is a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment. There is literally no pressure for success and it’s important to get any miraculous expectations out of your head right now to avoid devastating disappointment on the off chance it doesn’t work. I cannot guarantee our success, in fact, no approach can ever be guaranteed to work. But I am confident it can work, and I can guarantee that you will, at the very least, maintain an accountability partner and have someone in your corner so you don’t have to go it alone.